8 reasons why shouldn't I live abroad
Moving to a new country can change your life, but it's not for everyone. So, if you've been struggling with the decision of whether to move abroad or not, then hopefully this news can help.
I'm the author of Moving Abroad for Dummies, and on this news, we like to talk about the realities of living abroad and not just sugarcoating them.
Now, first and foremost, think twice about moving abroad if your main reason for doing so is to escape something. I once saw an RV in Mexico that had this sign painted on it that said, "My home is in my head." And that really stuck with me because wherever you go, there you are. A lot of the personal problems and challenges and struggles of life are going to follow you to another country.
Now, of course, you can solve some problems by moving somewhere else. You can change your cost of living. You can get out of a bad housing situation, out of a bad relationship situation. You can find a better quality of life. You can find more safety. But if you're just going to get away from something, make sure you have something to balance that out — something that you're moving towards, some type of vision that you have for yourself in your life abroad.
If you want to be fulfilled and happy in the long term, you do change your perspective when you move abroad, but certain hardships of life — paying bills, dealing with people, the ups and downs of the roller coaster of life — those are going to go with you anywhere you go. So, it's really important to be moving towards something that you want for yourself and not just certain people, places, and things that you're trying to get away from.
Moving abroad can also create new problems that you didn't know you had, like how to drive on the left side of the road, how to pay your bills, how to use your washing machine if you have one. And don't even get me started on the metric system.
I also recommend thinking seriously about your plan to move abroad. If you're the kind of person who likes things to always stay the same, you like consistency, because when you go abroad, you're going to spend everything in life and start over.
Everything changes — from how to order your coffee in the morning to how to get around on public transportation, how your daily routine pans out. So, if you're the kind of person who likes a lot of order and structure, navigating a new country, a new language, a different bureaucracy, customs, culture — this is all going to be a big shock to the system. And it's called culture shock for a reason.
I've witnessed a lot of people in my 20 years of travel and living abroad that are really fixed in their ways. But having a flexible mindset when things happen differently or things go wrong compared to how you want them to be is really helpful.
I've seen a lot of people who move abroad for a better life and then they can't cope with those changes, and they just don't seem happy — even when they're sitting on a beautiful beach at sunset with a nice drink.
The good news, though, is that personal growth happens outside of your comfort zone, as cliché as it sounds. The more that you stretch yourself and put yourself in different situations, the more you're going to grow as a person.
So, if you find yourself in London complaining about the weather or in Costa Rica complaining about how slow things move, then that just might be you not being able to adapt to the change in that country.
One person I saw online wrote, "I moved to Portugal thinking it would be just like the US, but cheaper. Nope. Everything took longer and I couldn't get anything done. I was miserable for a year until I realized the problem wasn't Portugal. It was me. I was trying to live like an American in a country that doesn't value hustle culture."
Moving abroad might also not be for you if you're not ready to start over. One of the beautiful things about moving abroad is you get to start with a clean slate. You get to completely reinvent who you are, what you do, what you like, and how people see you.
Having lived in so many different countries, I always found it really interesting that people who meet you at a certain phase of your life only know you from that narrow window. So, if you've ever reinvented yourself before — changed careers, hobbies, or priorities — then the people you meet during that time are only going to know that snapshot of your life.
So maybe you were married with kids and now you're divorced and single, and the people who meet you now don't even know that you have a family. Likewise, you might have changed jobs. Maybe you went from engineering into graphic design, and the people who meet you see you as this creative artist, whereas before people saw you as a mathematician.
Here in Miami, a lot of people associate me with music because I learned how to DJ and produce music here during the pandemic. A lot of them don't even know what I do for work.
So when you go abroad, you get to present yourself in a new way. You get to know who you are without the backdrop of your home culture, your hometown, your friends and family who've known you all of your life.
There's definitely beauty to that, but there's also opportunity in getting to start a business in another country, retire somewhere, or get a job in a different country and meet new people at work that you wouldn't have if you stayed back home.
But on the flip side, this also means that you have to rebuild everything. You have to make new friends. You need to rebuild your reputation at work, which you could have spent decades building. So it is a lot of work. You've got to start at that small-talk level before getting to know people on a deeper level.
If the idea of starting over and reinventing yourself sounds exciting and invigorating, then moving abroad probably is for you. But if it sounds exhausting, isolating, and terrifying, then maybe it's not for you. Still, examine that, because it could be just what you need.
I talk a lot about this and culture shock in my book, Moving Abroad for Dummies. We have a whole chapter dedicated to this and how to adapt to life after you get to a new country.
On that note, moving abroad might not be for you if you're not comfortable with being different. We romanticize the idea of living like a local, but the reality is the locals aren't going to see us as locals for a long time — or maybe ever.
There are language barriers and cultural differences. If you're not okay with being perceived differently, it's going to be a struggle. If you're a 6'7" tall white man living in Japan, you're going to stand out.
In my case, I've been speaking Spanish for 20 years, but no matter where I go in Latin America, people assume I don't speak Spanish because of how I look. And even when I do speak Spanish, I still have a gringa accent.
You might feel integrated, but new people you meet may still see you as an outsider. That said, being an outsider can be nice. It gives people an opportunity to ask questions, be curious, and connect.
The most interesting countries are melting pots. You get to learn from each other and share your culture while integrating at the same time.
Think twice about moving abroad if you like to have control over everything. When you move, many things are outside your control. I saw someone say, "I moved abroad for a simpler life and now I spend half my time in immigration offices and the other half deciphering water bills."
I've definitely been there — waiting in banks, dealing with paperwork, and explaining documents to myself. Things will happen that you don't expect.
Even after 20 years of travel, unexpected things still come up. So if you really need control, living abroad will be a bumpy road.
This next one is a big one. I've helped close to 1,500 people move abroad, and every single one had some source of income — savings, a job, remote work, a business, a pension, passive income.
I don't recommend just showing up and figuring it out. You may not have the right visa. Finding work can take longer than expected. Savings may not last as long as you think. And salaries may be lower than back home.
Have a financial plan. Ideally, 3 to 6 months of savings, or even a year. Some landlords require bank statements. Without that, you may lose opportunities.
Finally, think twice if your partner isn't on board. I've seen engagements broken, relationships end, and couples divorce because they wanted different things.
Have these conversations before you move so you can do what's right for both people.
The good news is there's no such thing as failure in living abroad. I've never met anyone who regretted it — even if it didn't last. Whether it's a month, a year, or longer, you will grow from it.
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